11.14.2023

reflections & gratitude day 14

 good morning, lovelies…. I am LOVING these gratitude posts! They are causing me to dive into the smallest things that have impacted my life in great ways, and also to look at hardships and how really they were blessings in disguise. I highly suggest this month to recognize something you are grateful for each day in this month of giving thanks. You’ll be amazed! 

I’ve been up since 4am. I decided I’d sip coffee and dive into the story of how I got to the now and a little reflection… The sun just started to come up over the treetops and the room is filling with light… Christian had to be at work super early and it’s easier to work on home projects when no one else is home - or at least that’s what the ‘lady in charge’ in me claims, so a bit later I hope to start studying a few things about the type of flooring I want to install in the kitchen. You know I am a colorful individual, so ain’t no stone-colored-generic-blah-flooring going in… This house still doesn’t have a kitchen, and there are still demolition remnants in the yard that are slowly making their way by the truckload to the dump, but hopefully by Christmas we will have a kitchen once again. I’m figuring out a paint color for the walls, the type of flooring I want (and how to install myself), and researching cabinets, counters, and managing the space for appliances in this little kitchen for optimum counter space. This old house is 30’ x 30’, so I don’t have a lot of space to work with. 

It’s been just over two years since I left my twenty-year career as an office worker. The type of job that I was conditioned to believe would make me feel secure, safe, and happy. A job with an IRA, health insurance, and paid vacation. It brought financial security, but it took decades to learn that isn’t what living is all about. In fact, that life was making me miserable. It allowed me to take baby steps to where I needed to be though, and it afforded me this land, this 118-year-old farmhouse, and paid many vet bills for the residents here. It bought hay, firewood, and fencing supplies. It showed me what was needed to thrive here. It paid for renovations on the shop I now work out of. It bought my ol’ ‘77 Ford truck, two brand new cars, and the lawn tractor that maintains the land here.

After over a decade of wishes, hopes, and dreams, I finally got what I wanted. I put in the work of tending to a farm. I did it all by myself. From caring for the animals on a farm I did not reside, to being able to buy this farm and work the land,  I needed to do it all by myself. This was never a dream Christian had, so it wasn’t fair to expect him to put time and sweat equity into something his heart wasn’t into, although he appreciates it all now. I would have never had the gumption to stand strong and sturdy in the face of adversity had I not done all the work, the fencing, the caretaking of the animals -  all by myself. It gave me the permission I needed to pursue a less ordinary life - that if anyone could do it, it was me. And I’m fucking doing it well….and Christian even jumps in at times to help when he’s not working. 

I’m extremely grateful I was raised to chase my dreams even if it mean going against the grain. I’m grateful I didn’t have a trust fund or independent wealth to limit my ingenuity and creativity in figuring out how to make it work. 

Christian will be home early this afternoon since he left for work so early, which means I’ll stop whatever housework I’m doing and head out the shop to fulfill Etsy orders (it’s vintage sweater weather!) and work on prints for a few hours then heading to the post office before it closes. 

I’ll share photos tomorrow of the print mounting process and a few new finished pieces! Have a wonderful Tuesday!

xoxo

-s


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